How You Live
Why hello there, weekend.
Something happened yesterday that made me stop dead in my tracks and think twice. You know those moments (maybe I'm the only one who has them) when something hits you at a time you least expect, and teaches you a lesson? I had one. And it came in the most humble of forms.
My grandma had minor surgery last week, and I went with her (and my mom) for her check-up yesterday. As we sat down in the chairs at the doctor's quiet office waiting room, Mom burst out laughing. She quickly showed Grandma and me her cell phone screen: an auto-correct gone-wrong text Mom had accidentally just sent. In reply to a text from my sister saying she was sick, Mom wrote "my poor girl!" but good old auto-correct changed the "r" in poor to a "p"...and well, 'nough said. We sat there laughing and wailing hysterically (what are we, 8 year old boys?!) at the stupid yet (in the moment) hilarious text. As we laughed, I suddenly noticed someone.
A feeble, tiny white-haired lady sat watching us, almost enveloped by the chair she sat in - a rather small chair, really...but she made it look like a huge throne compared to her tiny frame. She just sat, watching us as we laughed heartily despite being in a sober, quiet waiting room. Her eyes were full of sadness, and longing. I could read it. (And if there's one thing I can do, it's read people's emotions...because I am sensitive, and feel so strongly myself) I could not help but notice her. Something hit me. I sensed she wished she was laughing with us, our 3-generation laughter. Our relationship together. As she sat alone, I almost wanted to stop laughing, so as not to rub it in her face. My mind wandered as my grandma and mom continued to chat…..
But the point is: it made me think. Even now, in the dim evening light as I sit and sip a huge cup of hot tea, I wonder.... what will I think when I’m 90 years old and alone in a waiting room? Will I vacantly gaze onto a mother-daughter-granddaughter banter? What will I have to show for my life? What will I have done for the Lord? What will I have accomplished for God? I fight back tears now as I think about it.
Something happened yesterday that made me stop dead in my tracks and think twice. You know those moments (maybe I'm the only one who has them) when something hits you at a time you least expect, and teaches you a lesson? I had one. And it came in the most humble of forms.
My grandma had minor surgery last week, and I went with her (and my mom) for her check-up yesterday. As we sat down in the chairs at the doctor's quiet office waiting room, Mom burst out laughing. She quickly showed Grandma and me her cell phone screen: an auto-correct gone-wrong text Mom had accidentally just sent. In reply to a text from my sister saying she was sick, Mom wrote "my poor girl!" but good old auto-correct changed the "r" in poor to a "p"...and well, 'nough said. We sat there laughing and wailing hysterically (what are we, 8 year old boys?!) at the stupid yet (in the moment) hilarious text. As we laughed, I suddenly noticed someone.
A feeble, tiny white-haired lady sat watching us, almost enveloped by the chair she sat in - a rather small chair, really...but she made it look like a huge throne compared to her tiny frame. She just sat, watching us as we laughed heartily despite being in a sober, quiet waiting room. Her eyes were full of sadness, and longing. I could read it. (And if there's one thing I can do, it's read people's emotions...because I am sensitive, and feel so strongly myself) I could not help but notice her. Something hit me. I sensed she wished she was laughing with us, our 3-generation laughter. Our relationship together. As she sat alone, I almost wanted to stop laughing, so as not to rub it in her face. My mind wandered as my grandma and mom continued to chat…..
I thought... maybe this woman has a strained relationship with her daughter and wishes she only had what we have. Perhaps she lost her granddaughter in a car crash years ago, and her look is one of missing, longing…for what could have been. Maybe she had 3 sons and miscarried one little girl, right before birth…and that vacant look in her eye was wondering what might have been. Perhaps she had no children and never married…and she wishes she could go back and do something differently.
Or perhaps she wasn’t thinking of us at all, or didn’t care and was just blankly staring, and I in my very dramatic story-loving mind made it all into something it wasn’t :)
That certainly could have been.
It's hard to think about.
And sobering, for me at least.
Today, we are young.
But someday...down the road, we will (if given the gift of years) be just like that lady.
Sitting, thinking, coming to the end of our lives. And what will we have to show for it?
I am inspired. To not waste my life.
(reminds me of John Piper's "Don't Waste Your Life" book I read in college)
To pray more. To love better.
To do simple things with great love.
I want to wake up with the sunlight, throw open the windows and breathe.
I want to do great things for Christ. Share the Gospel with how I act and live.
I want to take risks, do what I love. Be passionate about everything.
To laugh heartily. To kiss orphans.
To savor every moment. To not care so much about things or money.
To not be afraid of the truth but to embrace it with honesty.
Take a few chances. Wear your glittery heels.
Really know your Bible and the God who wrote it. Sing loudly to the radio in the car.
Wear red lipstick on casual days. LAUGH.
"Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken.
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
make a big mess and make lots of wishes.
Have what you want, but want what you have.
Don't spend your life lookin' back.
Turn up the music! Turn it up loud.
Take a few chances, let it all out.
Cause you won't regret it...
Looking back on where you have been
Really know your Bible and the God who wrote it. Sing loudly to the radio in the car.
Wear red lipstick on casual days. LAUGH.
"Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken.
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
make a big mess and make lots of wishes.
Have what you want, but want what you have.
Don't spend your life lookin' back.
Turn up the music! Turn it up loud.
Take a few chances, let it all out.
Cause you won't regret it...
Looking back on where you have been
It's not who you knew, and it's not what you did:
Let's live it. For HIM.
XO
Erin
XO
Erin
PS- I've got some exciting stuff comin' next week, so get ready ya'll!
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Friday iPhone Photo Drop
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